How to begin telling you – that I set my boat on fire? I could start by telling you that in 2016 I started feeling like I might never be ‘settled’ again. I started missing things like owning a dog or cat; I sometimes felt like I would always be ‘temporary’ and never put down roots. I could start by reminding you of my growth (but you can read the blog).
Instead I can tell you it started in early 2017 when I truly noticed God was up to something new – while praying and fasting about my upcoming contract end date with Empowering Action – I found God changing my focus. Moving me away from ‘work’ to praying about a ‘husband’ (well you could have knocked me down with a feather) in my mind I knew this prayer might include some kind of move (again ha!) and huge mindset shift.
Let me explain what I mean when I say God ‘said or did something’ (how I discover God’s direction) I do it by reading/studying the bible, seeking the wisdom of other people and through prayer -so when I say I believe God told me something I mean through this process. Honestly, I was so shocked that I should start to pray about a husband – I didn’t believe it; so I asked God to give me some confirmation (remember through the bible, people or prayer). The verse a friend in Hong Kong (who didn’t know about my new focus) sent that same day was;
James 4: 2-3 “You desire but do not have….. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”
It took some soul searching but I realized that I had not prayed well about this the first time – this was one of the confirmations I needed. And now I was more comfortable in my own shoes I knew I needed to pray that I would be ready – as opposed to asking for a man to drop out of the sky! And that I needed to make sure to stay focused on God and not set ‘finding of a husband’ as an idol in place of God. (it feels kinda good to know what to do about this – my first time)
Matthew 6: 33 “But seek first his Kingdom and his righteousness. And all these things will be given to you as well”
Meanwhile, the time had arrived to talk with the Empowering Action (EA) leadership about my work and how the contract was close to full achievement. There has been so much awesome work and as many of you know #Ilovemyjob; But before I went into the meeting yesterday, I prayed quickly – “Lord, if this plan to be ready for a husband is your plan the best way to confirm it to me is for EA to release me from a further contract.” (honestly I wanted more confirmation because I still couldn’t believe God!). During the discussion they revealed they had also realized the work from the original contract was close to completion and it was time to plan for final completion. (yes, I was speechless too – but so excited). I think they were also shocked when I told them about how God had been moving my life – and yes they prayed with me about it. And now we will go ahead and plan the wrap up of my contract and look to be finished sometime in Summer (Aussie Winter).
I’m still in a state of amazement and excitement. I’ve been looking at the bible for faithful women to inspire me (today its the story of the woman who had been bleeding for 12 years who touched Jesus cloak) I want to have faith that big and trust Gods plan for my life that much. Wow – so much to strive for (doesn’t mean it’s easy silly).
A friend of mine made me smile when she sent me this quote after I messaged her about what happened with the meeting;
Friend: “My Dad once said it’s easier to get out of the boat and walk on the water (with Jesus) if the boat is on fire!”
Me: “and the irony is that I ask God to set the boat on fire so I’d know to get out!”
Here’s what I’m praying about:
- Move – maybe to the UK, and all the details, plans that involves
- Study – I have a masters degree in mind (for a scholarship) and love the opportunity to time to renew my mind
- Work – for the work I’ve done here in the DR (DR, Cuba, Haiti – so much has been achieved) – that I can wrap up in a timely and positive way, that God will provide solutions for Virtuous Women to be self sufficient; and for a new job, contract or work so I save money and support myself
- Broken Heart – leaving the Philippines was the right thing to do but I experienced ‘heartbreak’ at leaving the people I loved and now, again, I know it’s right but leaving the people I love here will break my heart and that grief is hard
- Overall – I am praying that through these plans and transition that God will keep preparing me to be ready to meet my husband (don’t think I’m crazy silly just be excited with me)
I’ll keep you posted as the details unfold and thanks for your prayers too